Today I Learned How NoT to Make Turkish Delight

-Lesson from Saturday, February 27, 2010-

If you don't know what Turkish Delight is, you should check out the following video link:

Edmund Eating Turkish Delight

*Sigh* - It looks so tasty. Now, on to the lesson.

You know...there are moments in life that you can look back and revel in your great success, in your achievement and the glory of that moment.

And there are moments like these when you begin to wonder if the Frankencandy you created will ever release your teeth from its powerful grip. Will I be forced to suck my nutrition from a straw for the rest of my life? How can something so tasty be so evil? Can you die from laughing this hard? Sometimes trying to learn something will just leave you with more questions...

I have been excited for days now about the possibility of making Turkish Delight. I even made rose water from scratch in order to make it. But, unfortunately I did not learn the proper way to make Turkish Delight today. That's not to say that I didn't learn anything today. Quite the contrary. I learned how NoT to make Turkish Delight today. Probably one of many ways. Although I prefer not to learn any more.

I'm not a big Woody Allen fan, but I read one of his quotes recently that could certainly apply to this situation:

"If you’re not failing every now and again, it’s a sign you’re not doing anything very innovative."

So, in reviewing this process I will take comfort in the idea that at least I tried to do something interesting, and can move forward with the information I've gained and apply it to my next attempt.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Here is how you're supposed to make Turkish delight...

Step #1 - Mix sugar, lemon juice and water together and heat until 240F.

What did I learn from this?

1. Wire whisks and Teflon pans do not mix.

2. I am overdue to buy a new medium-sized saucepan.

3. Teflon flecks are not an appetizing ingredient.

So, after scrapping that batch of ruined sugar mixture, I went on to mix up a better one, in a better pan. Going good. For the moment anyway. Until I faced the next step.

Step #2 - Mix cornstarch, cream of tartar and water over heat until it's glue-like.

Now, the directions said,
"when the mixture achieves a glue-like consistency, stop stirring."

I think this was the major hitch in our attempt today.

In the recipe video, their mixture looked like a thicker version of Elmer's glue.

Now that I look at theses pictures I realize that ours looked more like

the school paste that comes with an orange lid and a stick.

What did I learn from this?

1. Gooey and gloppy is better than pasty and thick.

2. This stuff may look like frosting, but is NOT tasty. Bleh.

Step #3 - Add gluey mixture to sugar mixture.

What did I learn from this?

1. If it's pasty, the mixture turns into hard little flecks the consistency of cartilage.

2. No amount of stirring will fix this.

At this point, I was torn. Do I follow through with the rest of the recipe even though I know this batch is ruined? Do I scrap it all and start over? It was time to call My Reinforcement back to the kitchen.You remember the guy . . . Super Hubby

His solution was simple.

"Let's just strain out the flecks."

I laughed out loud. Pouring molten hot candy through a sieve? First of all, that sounded dangerous. Second of all, it didn't even seem like it would work. But he smiled confidently at me, with a "What do we have to lose?" expression.

Ok. Alright. Let's give it a try...

What did I learn from this?

1. Sometimes crazy ideas work.

2. Sometimes crazy ideas work, but it still doesn't matter.

3. My husband is willing to sustain injuries to find out what Turkish delight tastes like.

No wonder Edmund was willing to betray his brother and sisters.

The intrigue of this stuff makes you do crazy things...

Well, we continued to follow the directions. We were aware that it might not turn out as planned, since a good portion of the gluey mixture didn't get integrated into the batch. But we marched on, anyway. And after the long stirring time was done we poured it into our pan and hoped for the best.

After the cooling time had passed we tried it.

Instead of being jelly-like and soft,

we had made the largest Sugar Daddy I'd ever seen.

And even though it glued my teeth together, it tasted really good.

I'll keep dreaming of what it will be like to bite into a soft jelly Turkish delight.

Until then, I'll keep you posted.

Today I learned how to make and appreciate homemade crackers

Back at the beginning of the year, I read a slave narrative published in 1861, entitled “Incidents in the Life of a Slave Girl.” It is an amazing true account of the lengths this woman went to simply to have the right to own her life. It should be on the required reading list of every high school.

The main character’s grandmother, a freed woman, was an important character in the story and she mastered many trades to help support her family and earn the respect of her community. To quote a passage:

“She became an indispensable personage in the household, officiating in all capacities, from cook and wet nurse to seamstress. She was praised for her cooking; and her nice crackers became so famous in the neighborhood that many people were desirous of obtaining them. In consequence of numerous requests of this kind, she asked her mistress to bake crackers at night after all the household work was done...”

- "Incidents in the Life of a Slave Girl" - Page 12

This woman would work herself bone-tired all day and then made crackers into the night, using the earnings to buy clothes for her children and saved back the extra with hopes to buy her children. Wow. How humbling! This woman worked so hard. I read that and thought about how much I take for granted. My freedom, my children, my right to choose what I want to do. I toss my clothes in the washing machine and press a few buttons. I place my dishes in the dishwasher and press a few buttons. I set my food in the microwave and press a few buttons. We take it for granted how easy things are for us in this country, in this generation.

The crackers were really what kind of clicked with me. I’ve never made crackers before in my life. Why would I when I can just pick them up at the store, all tidy and prepackaged in a box? But reading that passage made me think about the fact that back in the 1800s, if people wanted crackers they had to roll up their sleeves and make some. Over a fire.

I admire all those who came before us, to make things easier for us, who dared to singe off their arm hair snatching out soon-to-be-too-done batches from the toasty ovens. And today as I learn to make crackers I will do my best to appreciate the fine electric stove I will put them in, and the handy mitten-shaped potholders that will protect my tender fingers.

INGREDIENTS FOR HOMEMADE CRACKERS:

2 cups flour

1 tsp. baking powder

2/3 cup water

1 Tbsp. sugar

1/2 tsp. salt

1 stick of butter (works better than margarine)

Step #1 - Mix ingredients

First, mix the dry ingredients.

Waybums has been particularly excited about this lesson.

My little "cracker attacker" loves everything
from Grahams to Goldfish crackers.

After the dry ingredients are mixed, add 1/3 of a cup of melted butter
and the 2/3 cup of water.

(Save back the extra from the stick butter.)

Mix these ingredients together until it forms a smooth dough...

...like this.

Now, divide the dough into two sections and cover for ten minutes

I don't know why.

In my research I read something about the flour absorbing the moisture.

Step #2 - Form the crackers

Now, put half of the dough in a square on a 17x9 cookie sheet and roll it out.

Trim the edges straight and cut into squares.

A pizza cutter works great.

Well, as great as your aim, anyway.

I did end up with a few crooked crackers, but that was operator error.

Now, poke a bunch of holes into the crackers.

This is so they don't bubble up.

It also helps when you've had a frustrating day.

Take it out on the cracker.

Go ahead, they won't judge.

Now, bake in your preheated oven for 8-14 minutes . . .

OH, WAIT!

I FORGOT AN IMPORTANT STEP!!!

Melt your remaining butter and brush it over the crackers
and then add table salt or coarse salt to taste.

Yeah. I remembered about halfway into the cooking time.
Oops.

But like I said, the crackers are pretty forgiving.

NOW put them in the oven 8-14 minutes, or until they are golden.

Not only are they way less expensive than store crackers,

they are also tastier. MoRe Tastier. Or is it MoRe TasTieST?

:)

A couple tips...

No, those aren't multigrain.

They're just the reason why you want to cook them

in the middle of the middle rack.

And since you're doing it yourself - you might as well have fun.

Giant cracker anyone?

I already (accidentally) made a giant doughnut

so I thought maybe this could be fun...

Or how about interesting shapes?

I hear Stegosaurus tastes just like chicken...

And don't forget that you can pair your crackers with other things...

Homemade cheese and homemade crackers.

I think this is the beginning of a beautiful friendship...

Stay tuned for tomorrow's lesson...

I'll keep you posted.

Today I learned how to make mochi and the principle of "hana yori dango"

It will be apparent to my regular readers that one of the things I learned today was how to upgrade the design on my blog. If you popped on this afternoon you might have seen any number of the backgrounds I tried out. Barn wood with sunflowers. Antique floral. Rococo patterns. And because it’s now my job to learn things, I naturally ended up researching Rococo. It’s a French style of interior design, coming from the words rocaille (stone) and coquilles (shell), since those bits of nature are incorporated in the motif. It's also a little too busy for me.

I found the simplest one available, assembled my new banner and here we are with a new layout. I could have spent hours looking through backgrounds, but when I was looking up my mochi recipe this morning I learned a Japanese saying - “Hana yori dango” - which means, “dumplings over flowers.” It refers to the value of practical things over aesthetics. So, after fidgeting on here for way too long, I got back to rotating the laundry and picking out my mochi recipe.

What is mochi? The most definite answer I have is that mochi is an acquired taste. Or more accurately, it’s an acquired texture. The taste is subtle and sweet. And tasty, in my humble opinion. The main ingredient of mochi is glutinous rice flour, so the texture is unlike anything else I’ve ever eaten. It is somewhere between chewy and gooey. Chooey?

My husband hates mochi. The first time he ate it, he took a honkin' bite and it about glued his mouth shut. After that initial gag-inducing reaction, he hasn’t had much motivation to like it. But my mochi experience was with my dear Japanese friends who warned me to take small bites. Oh, I love it. When we lived in Japan, I’d go down to the Family Mart and buy tasty mochi goodies: Purple mochi with anko paste inside, pink mochi over sliced strawberries and cake, white mochi in little potato-starch dusted balls. *Sigh* :) Since there are no Family Marts handy here in the Midwest, I have been longing for mochi since we moved back. But no longer! I took some initiative and found an Asian food market that sells the glutinous rice flour and decided to learn how to make my beloved and weird little treat.

INGREDIENTS FOR
CHI CHI DANGO MOCHI:

1 lb. mochiko (glutinous rice flour)
2 ½ cups white sugar
1 tsp. baking powder
2 cups water
1 tsp.vanilla extract
½ tsp almond extract
1 (13.5 oz.) can coconut milk
¼ tsp. red food coloring

For coating after cooked:
1 cup powdered sugar/½ cups corn starch

The recipe says that the first step is preheating the oven to 350F.

The first step I took was this:

Haha! See – I AM learning things.

After the chocolate-cake-from-scratch incident

I am now prepared.

Oh, and there’s something else I already learned but will pass along to you in an effort to be helpful. For years, I hated aluminum foil and cling wrap because they would jump out of the box at me when I tried to use them. And then last summer I found out there are tabs on the side of the box to keep the rolls in place! I sheepishly thought this was common knowledge until I mentioned it to other people, a lot of other people, who didn’t know either!

So, Internet, here is my helpful tip for the day:

It says to grease your 9x13 pan. Knowing the sticky nature of mochi, I didn't want to take any chances and so I lined it with foil first and then greased the foil. It was easier to take out later when I had to invert it, too.
Now, mix all the dry ingredients together. I learned that rice flour is very dusty, so keep that in mind when you're prepping your area. (Like hiding your camera from the rice cloud, for instance.)


Now mix your wet ingredients together. The recipe said to use red food coloring. I should have listened to the recipe. But NoOoOo. My favorite color is green, and I miss the grass. So I used green. Green is maybe not the best choice. Particularly if you are writing a blog and are trying to get people to think - "Hey, that looks kind of tasty. I might try to make that." Oh dear. When I mixed it all together I took one look and realized with dismay that it had both the color and consistency of the slime that they pour on people on Nickelodeon.

My daughter was concerned.

"Don't worry, mother."

"Maybe it won't look like this after you cook it."

Thanks, Sweetie.
Yeah. And adding more green? Not really helpful.

Anyway, I poured the batter into the pan and watched it cook. The warm, sweet rice smell wafting through the house was SO delightfully reminiscent of my old stomping grounds in Japan. I would catch those smells walking to the train station, mixed in with the jasmine blossoms and ocean air. It's amazing how smells are connected with the memory center of the brain. It completely transported me back to a happy place and time. It's nice that colors don't have a smell. Because after that lovely hour of fragrant baking, I took it out of the oven and suddenly all I could think was:

SoYLeNT GReeN is PEOPLE!!!

:/ Which is not the vibe I was really going for...

-

After I recovered from my laughing at my folly, I inverted it on the powder sugar/cornstarch powder and began slicing it up into pieces. I couldn't help but break off a few nibbles off the edge. Delight! It tastes exactly like the mochi I had in Japan...even if it doesn't look like it.

-THE FINISHED PRODUCT-

~~~~~~

So, coincidentally, I learned the true meaning of "hana yori dango" with my accidental Soylent Mochi experiment. Because although it is somewhat unusual in its appearance, it's exactly what I was hoping to find from the recipe.

~~~~~~

Now, I'm searching for the perfect recipe for my favorite

Japanese hot-out-of-the-vending-machine beverage...

Learned a lot today.

As for tomorrow...

I'll keep you posted.

Today I learned to befriend power tools.

Power tools are the embodiment of things unknown to me. My Dad helped me tear out my deck last summer and I was impressed when I learned how to use a power screwdriver. My lack of excitement concerning power tools is because power tools are, well, powerful, and you’ve probably noticed by now that I tend to be accident-prone. I envision a perfect storm of pain and emergency care.

~~~~~~~~

For instance, you don’t see one of these on a shovel:

 My husband pointed out that the picture is fuzzy

but I think its message is abundantly clear.

The Catholic priest in my hometown had firsthand experience with such a snowblower injury. Oh dear. No pun intended. :/ The poor fellow lost fingers. So, yes, when I decided to learn how to use the snowblower it was with some apprehension. But I have a lot of confidence in my tutor – my husband, since he has both my best interest at heart, and practical knowledge of the equipment. So, I bundled up and got ready to learn how to use the snowblower.

Which I have named Matilda the Hun.

Doesn't it look like it should have "Binford" somewhere on there?

Haha! This made us laugh.
The last time it snowed (over five inches),
my husband couldn't find the key and had to shovel.
There was a back-up on the blower all along. :)

Pretty self-explanatory. They saw me coming.
Although I needed help with words like, "choke" and "throttle"
- which, by the way, sounds like a very violent situation to me.


I had to look around for the ignition, since most snowblowers
don't have theirs in the dashboard.


Bunny go fast. Turtle go slow. Me like.


You plug it in? Seriously?
We have an electric starter on our snowblower,
and when Jess handed me the power cord...
...well, you see the picture.


Pushing to start the engine.
I jumped about six inches when it started.
I think Matilda laughed at me.

The most important thing that I learned is that Matilda uses the big red part to eat snow, and anything else that gets in her path. Do not let Matilda eat anything except snow. No planters, no small animals, and especially not the back bumper of the car. Per my husband’s request.

Left handlebar is the snow-eating auger. Right handlebar makes it go. Shift into drive, hold auger, make it go. Stop making it go, stop auger, reposition snowblower to go around the corner. Oops. Missed a spot. Stop making it go, stop auger, shift into reverse, make it go – oops, forgot the auger. And don't forget to go straight! It’s a lot to remember.

~~~~~~~~

Oh yeah, and you should watch where the snow is blowing...

LoL. Just a tip.
There's a neat angle-director on the blower-vent thingie
that will keep the snow from redecorating the outside of your house.

Tah-Dah!

I accidentally shot some snow back onto the sidewalk before Matilda ran out of gas and keeled over. You know, looking at this picture, I think that the biggest thing I learned today was how much work it was. I was pretty tuckered out when I got done. (My husband even moved the cars out of the driveway so I could get the full experience. Thanks, Sweetie. I saw you laughing crazy out loud as you pulled the car out, by the way, Ornery. I have a new appreciation for all the times you've moved snow for us... :)

~~~~~

When I was done, I was covered in sweat and my muscles ached. Husband dear said that I was trying to do all the work, that the snowblower is supposed to do the work. He pointed out that I was leaving snow behind because I was pushing it as it was supposed to be driving itself. And then, thinking back to my near-burning experience last night because I pushed down too hard on the tip and worked it loose...instead of letting the burner do the work. I guess I do that a lot. I take on more work than I need to in order to make something work. Even in the job that I just lost. I put a lot of work into that job, poured a lot of myself and my time and my life into that job. So I guess the most helpful thing I realized today is that it will either work or it won't, but pushing something harder than it's supposed to go will wear you out. Like any of the other goofs on this blog, I’ve know that mistakes are fine as long as you learn from them.

(And as long as you don’t end up at the ER…or let Matilda gnaw on the fender of the van.)

Ooh - And since this blog has just made my whole week fun and adventurous, I'll throw in a freebie that I learned on accident - How to make a layered beverage!

~~~~~~~

I had some leftovers from my Shirley Temple lesson and so I poured half a glass of extra pulp orange juice, filled the top half with ginger ale and put in a splash of grenadine and had this "happy little accident" as the late great Bob Ross would call it.

~~~~

I don't know yet what I'll be learning tomorrow...

...but I'll keep you posted.

Today I learned how to make cake. . . from scratch.

Have you ever made a cake from scratch? Because until today, I was a cheater. I always bought the cardboard boxes with the easy "just add eggs water and butter" instructions. But you know what I learned today? Making it from scratch is not only beginner-lever easy. It's also WAY less expensive. (And even more tastier. And yes, I know that "more tastier" is not approved English, but when you're recovering from eating something this tasty it's hard to remember such frivolous things.)

A box of chocolate cake mix can cost anywhere from $1-5, depending on the brand and the store. The cost of the base ingredients used for making one cake is practically pennies. Which means that Mrs. Crocker is a con artist. She and Mr. Hines probably got together one day and chuckled fiendishly, "We can make a billion-zillion dollars by packaging the dry ingredients in a cake and selling it in the name of convenience! Mwah-haha!"

I have made cookies and homemade bread and baked all sorts of things, but I never really even thought about making a cake from scratch until I dared myself to learn how yesterday. I set out to make two cakes today from the Better Homes and Gardens Cookbook - 75th Anniversary Edition. - I figured they must know what they're doing if they've been making cake since my Grampa was five.

The first is a basic "One-Bowl Chocolate Cake" with "Ganache" topping.

Here are the ingredients:

1 cup flour

1 cup sugar

1/2 cup cocoa powder

1/2 tsp. baking soda

1/4 tsp baking powder

1/4 tsp. salt

3/4 cup milk

1/3 cup oil

1 tsp. vanilla

1 egg

The first step is to grease and flour the pan. I'm not proud of this, but I confess that I have skipped over recipes before that have asked me to flour the pan. I know, I know. But since this is a learning experience it's only fair to share the gritty details. It's not that hard, once you figure out the trick.

Step #1 - Grease the pan.
Step#2 - Put a tablespoon of flour in and knock it around until everything you want to be covered is covered and then pour out the extra. All that intimidation for nothing. See?

(Tah-Da! Look, Ma - just like in the pictures!)

I had to include this because Waybums was puzzled

at the rubber-bottom bowl.
"Does it bounce?"
"Um, no. Actually it keeps it from slipping around when you stir."
"Oh. But it would be cooler if it bounced..."

OK - back to business.

First preheat the oven to 350F. Now, you put all the ingredients into a bowl, except the egg. And you mix them together. The recipe says to use a mixer, but I'm kind of traditional and I like to use a whisk. I like to pretend it counts as exercise.

Then, when it's all smooth, you add the egg. And mix again.

I don't know why.

 Maybe there is some sort of cooking chemistry involved.

Or maybe they just thought it would help you feel more accomplished if they added an extra step.

Who knows?

 

Pour it in your pan and slide it in the oven.

It's pretty fool-proof right?

Well, unless you try to get fancy and use a vintage angel-food cake pan.

That your mom gave you...

*Sniff-sniff* What's that smell?

Thanks, Mom, for giving me pan with incontinence problems. LoL!

 I laughed so much. Another lesson learned...

MAKE SURE YOUR INSERT IS NOT CROOKED.

Although it's MuCH shorter and more sloped than I had planned,

it's none the worse for the wear.

Although a little trickier to get out of the pan...

And now that it's out of the pan on the wire rack, it's time to make ganache.
Besides sounding all cool and Frenchy, ganache is chocolate ambrosia.
So creamy and...oh-so-DEE-VINE. It's also really easy to make.
Bring one cup of whipping cream to boil (medium-high).
Take it off the heat and add in 12 oz. of your favorite chocolate

Like so:

 Then let it sit like this for five minutes before you stir it.

After you whisk it until smooth, you let it sit another 15 minutes

to cool before you start spooning it over your cake.

The book recommends putting it on a wire rack so that the excess ganache can drip off.

Spoon!

Ok, I am laughing pretty hard at this picture.

This is not the bottom layer.
This is what's left of the cake after the rest

oozed out of the bottom of the pan.

Instead of my envisioned double-layer cake, I've made....
A GIANT DOUGHNUT!

LoL - The best-laid plans of mice and men...

But, aside from the technical difficulties, it was a great recipe and

there is very little of that mutant doughnut left.

I'll add "make a double-layer cake" on my "to-learn" list for a future episode.

The next cake I made turned out perfectly, without any mutations.

Yay. :)

If you want the recipe, I'll be happy to post it. Here's the short of it -

Pineapple Upside-Down Cake IngredientsIt's really surprisingly easy, too. Just melt the butter and mix with the brown sugar, arrange the fruit in the bottom. Then mix all the cake ingredients together and spoon it in:

Like so...and then it only take half an hour to bake.

Invert on plate. Add a turtle for garnish - et voila!
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Speaking of my mascot turtle, that's something else I learned today. One reader, a long-time friend, suggested that it being a "jaded turtle" it should have an Asian-influenced name. So I found a list online that translates "turtle" into most of the languages of the world. (For you Kung-Fu Panda fans, Uguei means "turtle" in Chinese.) Since Uguei is already taken, I've decided on Skilpad, which is Afrikaans for turtle. Plus it sounds like a good blog-mascot name.

------------

So, Skilpad the Jaded Turtle, it is.

Someday we may delve into the mystery of how he became so jaded...

------------

Tomorrow, I will be playing with fire. Or at least heat. It should be interesting...

I'll keep you posted.