Return of The Learner

Howdy everybody!

I just wanted to post a quick note to let you know that I'm back in Learning Mode! My respite took a little longer than I was planning and included several trips to the hospital (by various family members) and a variety of other learning adventures. I've got pictures and stories to share and plan to post them tonight in my update. :)

In the meantime I'll share one of my new favorite sites :) I confess that I stayed up much later than I'd planned last night looking at pics on this hilarious photoblog:

http://awkwardfamilyphotos.com/

And as a special treat, later this week I'll post some of my own awkward family photos. How about you? Have any hilariously awkward pics of your family?

I'll be back later - to keep you posted. :)

Spring Lessons in the Works

Happy Spring Everybody!

My little posies. :)

Oh, my dear month of April. Every year it's here and gone before I know it. I've had to take a little detour on my path to learning. It seems that while you can learn something new every day and tackle spring cleaning and write a blog and keep up with all the everyday stuff . . . it usually comes with the price tag of a 2 a.m. bedtime.

My husband keeps offering to build me a padded Velcro wall so I can put the kids in little terrycloth suits and just, ya know, stick them up there. "They'd think it was fun and just think of all the stuff you could get done!" Every time he mentioned it I always chuckled and thought how funny my husband is and what crazy and unique ideas he has. Until I learned today that Velcro walls actually exist.

And you can rent them. 

I gotta say, that looks pretty fun . . .

"Why do you need a Velcro wall?" you might find yourself asking yourself.

 (If you are the sort that would ask such a thing of yourself.)

Well, I will give you the example of my daughter's recent birthday.

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I Learned to Laugh "Today"

I set out to make a layered birthday cake. It was on my to-learn list ever since my lesson on how to make a cake from scratch. Of course, I was also running around trying to get the house prepared for the Par-tay that night. What a bustle of activity! I whipped up the cake from a box. Although I am a new fan of scratch cakes, I still have a few boxed ones to use up. I planned on putting my extra time into decorating the cake, anyway. Most girls I know that are her age want ponies or princesses or butterflies on their cakes. And their parents buy beautiful works of art from the local bakery. Because of Waybum's food allergies we can't get a lot of bakery items. And it's alright because those cakes cost more than the presents we bought for her.

Waybums wanted a dinosaur cake. A pink dinosaur cake.

So, I got started . . .

Mmm. Strawberry cake.

I put the cake in the oven and set the kitchen timer
and bustled about on the preparations.

Like clearing off the table.
Which on that day was a hefty order. . .

AAAAAHHH!

I had started sorting the kids' clothes and downstairs toys on top of the table and somehow other things layered on top and before I knew it, FEMA showed up and asked if I needed some help. . .

I worked on it for awhile and was ready to throw my hands in the air and have people eat their hamburgers on the driveway. And then I started scolding myself. Out loud. Why did I volunteer to have a party when I am in the midst of an ongoing, massive organization project? Am I crazy? What was I thinking?

-BeeP!-

Cake's done.

I took the cake out of the oven and put it on
the rack on the back of the counter to cool.

I figured, "I'd just let Super Hubby clear the table when he gets home and I'll work on the bedroom."
Because the biggest design flaw in this place is that you can only access the main floor bathroom by going through the master bedroom. So I was in there reclaiming it from the laundry (again) and pondering that I don't know who remodeled our house, but it seems to me that they didn't really think it through.

Here is one example of their throw-it-togetherness:

Let's put an arch in the bedroom - wouldn't that be cool?

Oh, but there's a window frame in the way.

Ooh! Let's just cut the original 1900s window frame to accomodate

the cheesy plaster decor. But we'll paint it after we put it in....

I mean, really?

Anyway, I was contemplating this when Waybums came running into the bedroom.

"Mother! Come to the kitchen quick!! It's an EMeRGeNCY!"

I ran to the kitchen, going over the possibilities in my brain on the way there.

Fire? Don't see how that could be. The oven's off.

Flood? Sink's off and dishwasher isn't running...

Tornado? Well, it may look like one hit. . .

I got to the kitchen and realize that the natural disaster was . . .

Little Sister.

I had taken the precaution of pushing the cake to the back of the counter, but it seemed that I underestimated the ingenuity of a little person that smelled
strawberry cake and wanted to sample it. On the sly.

Little Koda, tiny thing, had dragged a chair to the kitchen and climbed up onto the counter and was leaning over a decimated layer of cooling strawberry cake.

AAAAAAAHH!

LoL! Ok, so I can laugh now.

In fact, it didn't take me very long to laugh then.

(And now you know why a Velcro wall would be so handy for me.)

I guess what I learned from this experience is that

things get stressful it sometimes and make me want to . . .

 . . . well, you know.

But I am trying my hardest to take everything in perspective.

It's just a cake.

It's just a messy table.

It's not going to ruin life as I know it

and I am sure that we'll all survive.

Super Hubby picked up another mix from the store

and instead of a two-layer cake . . .

Waybums got a three-layer cake.

Tah-dah!

She said it was the most beautiful cake she ever saw.

(Of course she also thought the apple-flavored potato-starch Easter grass was yummy,

so there's no accounting for taste, there.)

And because she's just such a sweetheart,

she had insisted that Koda should get her own cake, too.

That is, after she served her sentence in time-out.

And as for the table . . . it got cleared off.
(Thanks to heroic measures from Super Hubby.)

Although I found it amusing to see what it looked like after the party....

What was all that fuss for again?

You'll be pleased to know that it has fully recovered since then.

When something seems overwhelming I am just learning to stop and evaluate.

My new motto is

"If it's going to be a funny story someday, why not laugh now?

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Just one of the many lessons I've been learning. Anyway, with April being such a busy month, I plan to take a brief hiatus until after the first week of May. I have been lining up some pretty cool learning experiences, so I'm excited to keep you posted!

Until then - Get out there and learn something fun! :)

Today I learned to strengthen my Organization-Fu

There are two groups of people in the world. You can tell what sort of person they are by their purse. (Especially if they are guys. Of course, people call those "murses" - You know - "male purses" and whatnot. You know I love that things just need an "M" in front of them to become "man-ified" objects. Manny - male nanny. Mantrums. The one that makes me chuckle most is "moobs" - Hehe.)

Oh. Where was I?

Ahh right, the categories of people with purses...

The first category contains the Born Organized (BO) people. You probably know at least one. They are the ones that can find things in their purse. Their purses are typically small and orderly and full of useful things. They have a compartment for their lip gloss and the lip gloss is in it. When their phone rings, they open their purse and pull it out. When someone tells them something interesting they pull out their little notepad and pen and write it down. Clicky-click. And they put it back where it belongs.

The other sort of person is a SLOB. I tried to think of a few acronyms that would go with SLOB. I came up with "Sadly Lost Object Borrower" but that's all the further I got. Their purses are typically large and and chaotic and contain completely random objects. They do not have lip gloss, and they did not even realize that's the purpose behind that compartment. When the phone rings, you get to listen to the entire chorus of their ringtone because every time they move something around their phone gets buried deeper. When someone tells them something interesting they pull out the crayon that somehow wound up in the lip gloss compartment and write it on the back of a receipt from two years ago.

Ummm.
I belong to the latter category . . .

Because when you realize that you are somehow carrying around a barnacle in your purse you just have to admit that something went wrong when the organization part of your brain was developing in the womb.

Anyway, today I was looking for some place to put away stuff in my over-stuffed pantry and I had a rare organizational moment. In a previous fit of trying to be organized, I had hung an over-the-door shoe organizer on the inside of my pantry door in a (failed) effort to sort mail. It was a good idea in theory, but a bad location.

As I swung the door open and lamented my lack of space, I noticed that in my previous haste I had put a box of spaghetti in one of the compartments. *Light Bulb*

Check out my newly organized pantry!

Tah-Dah!

It turns out that those extra couple of inches between the door and the pantry shelves were extremely valuable. I was able to clear two and a half pantry shelves of stuff and had a little room to spare!

I feel so brilliant. And organizy.
*patting self on back*

And since I have a birthday party to prepare for tomorrow,
I'll let you get back to the daily grind. :)

Thanks for stopping by!

Tomorrow I'll be learning to make a layer cake!

I'll keep you posted!

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Bonus Lesson

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Last week I called my husband up on his way home.

"Hey, Sweetie?"

"Yeah?"

"Can you pick up some shampoo? We're almost out..."

"Ok."

(Real riveting stuff, I know.)

So he came home with some Herbal Essences "Hello Hydration" shampoo. He figured just the shampoo would be fine since we still had some "Color Me Happy" and "Long Term Relationship" conditioners leftover. But on the back of the shampoo bottle is asked the question,

"How many bubbles are in a bottle of champagne?"

and it teased,

"For the answer see the Hello Hydration conditioner bottle."

Mwahahaha! How sneaky is that? Because they realize that "inquiring minds want to know" and chances are the consumer is going to be curious enough to at least pick up the bottle of conditioner in their hand next time to read the back. And if it's already in their hand it's a short trip to the shopping cart.

So the last time I was at the store, I looked up the conditioner bottle.

*******Drumroll*******

There are 58 million bubbles in a bottle of champagne.

(I know it was just eating away at you sweetie, and I have to take care of my #1 fan.)

According to Wikipedia, the early process of making champagne was so perilous that cellar workers had to wear iron masks to protect their faces from spontaneously exploding bottles. And if one bottle burst it could set off a chain reaction that would cause 20-90% of their profits to turn into a pile of shattered glass and sticky champagne on the floor. Talk about bursting one's bubble.

Anyway, I prefer drinking my grape juice before it spoils. :)

Hope you are gearing up for a great weekend!

Toodles for now...

Lessons Resume! - My Latest Learning Updates

Howdy readers! How have you been?

Sorry about the gaps between postings. My "brokened" wrist, as my Waybums calls it, is well on its way to being mended and I am pleased to report that postings should be more regular now. :) I would have popped on and let you know about my days off, but I just didn’t trust myself to stop at a paragraph. Because I’ve still been learning new things every day. Some funny things, some shocking things and some things that just made me wish I could sit down for an hour and hammer out a post so you’d know these things too. :)

One of the more interesting things I learned about?

Kumquats.

Cute little things, aren’t they?

I used the kumquats for an object lesson in a Sunday School class I substitute-taught. Because you know how kids are with substitute teachers, and it’s doubly true about Substitute Sunday School teachers, right? The memory verse they are working on is Psalms 147:5 - Great is our Lord and mighty in power; his understanding has no limit.

Which fits in with the blog, come to think of it. As mere humans, there is a limit to our understanding. We have to learn things as we go, usually by experience or by what we’re taught by others. But sometimes our experience does not equip us, and others don’t fully know how things work and have to make “best-guesses.” I asked the students if they had eaten a kumquat? No. How would they know what it tasted like? They could make a guess. A pretty good guess. They could even ask me what it tasted like.

But until you’ve eaten a kumquat, you don’t really know.

My favorite information gleaned about kumquats was from my independent study on how people thought kumquats are traditionally eaten. Ten out of ten people I asked thought that you peel and discard the rind and eat the slices of fruit inside. They do look like mini oranges, after all. But those who have experienced the enigma that is the kumquat know that the inside is pretty tart and the rind is the part that’s citrusy and sweet. So most people who eat kumquats eat them whole with the rinds on, or peel off and eat just the rind. No kidding.

I just love the idea of serving a God who knows what a kumquat tastes like without ever needing to taste it, and understands how its molecules are arranged and can remember the first time anyone ate one. Quite frankly, it takes some of the pressure off of me. There’s only so much information I can fit in this brain. I already have a hard enough time remembering where I put my phone.

Kumquat.

I think I will use this as my new exclamation when I stub my toe.

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Oh, and since I’m on the subject of produce,

I learned something interesting about potatoes.

I learned that you can explode a potato in the oven. (And - hey - I didn't even do it myself this time.) I'm pretty sure I already knew that, but seeing the results first-hand really drive the lesson home.

I went to a birthday party at my aunt's house over the weekend. When Auntie opened the oven she was surprised to see tater confetti all over the innards of her oven and an empty potato-skin jacket. Of course I had to look up the phenomenon when I got home and found out that's why it's so important to prick the potato skin all over. The tiny pricks work like teeny release valves to allow steam to escape from the spud. So –warning - a simple stab in the middle may not be sufficient. I’m not ashamed to admit that I have been jabbing potatoes for decades and never really appreciated fully why I had been poking them. This is learning in action . . .

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And since I’m on the subject of exploding,

I’ll tell you about this show on YouTube I learned about:

“Is It A Good Idea to Microwave This?”

A couple of guys came up with a brilliant idea to test what things are microwavable.
And by brilliant, I mean often resulting in fire or sparks…

I have operated a microwave for a long time. In fact, I remember the day my parents got our first microwave. It was such a big deal. Wow. That makes me feel a little old. Anyway, one of the things I learned very early on is that you don’t microwave your silverware with the food or you will suddenly have a shocking display of fireworks over your mashed potatoes.

Well, don't do that sort of thing unless you want to have a popular show online that people will get sucked into watching just to see if you survive. . .

Here is the episode where they find out if it’s a good idea to microwave fireworks.

And if it’s not obvious enough, I’ll make it extra clear:

DO NOT TRY THIS AT HOME

I’m not really proud of this fact, but as a learner this show is fascinating.

And as a mom, this show is also pretty terrifying.

I watched them microwaving everything from a can of shaving cream to a roll of Bubble Tape. They even microwaved a microwave. Well, chunks of the microwave they had killed in the previous episode. And, yes, it was a bad idea. Fumes and sparks and choking smoke and a couple of guys killing off microwaves. The worst part is that I keep looking around at things and wondering what would happen if they were microwaved. Holy Smokes, Batman!

That reminds me. My husband did an accidental test on whether or not it was a good idea to microwave the little ants that were trespassing in his microwave.

It was a bad idea. Both for the ants and the microwave.

Here is an exhaustive page about all things microwave from the USDA.

Hmm. I didn’t see anything on that page about fireworks…

Well, it’s great to be back in the swing of things and I look forward to learning more stuff!

I’ll keep you posted. :)

No microwaves were harmed (by me) in the making of this post...

Today I learned how balloons are made

I never even thought to wonder how they're made...

Cool.

I'll keep keeping you posted.

Today I learned the rest of the song

When I was a kid my mom used to sing part of a song to me.

I caught myself singing it to my girls today:

A - You're Adorable...

B - You're so Beautiful....

C - You're a Cutie full of Chaaaaaarm...

And she'd continue through the alphabet until right around "I" where it trailed off.

Her mom used to sing it to her when she was a little.

I remember asking Gramma how the rest of the song went.

She also trailed off around "I" too.

Must be genetic.

Well, today I decided it would be the perfect lesson to learn

while I'm behaving myself.

Awww.

We'll sing it until it's stuck in our heads forever.

(LoL - Loving her cookie)

I had started singing it when I put Koda in her shirt.

It says "Beautiful" and was a hand-me-down from Waybums.
Waybums got it from Gramma on one of those everyday shopping trips.

She paid $2 for it, on clearance. She was one heck of a bargain shopper.

That's genetic, too.

I learned other cool stuff and I'll put it up in the morning

so I can take a break between typings. :)

I'll keep you posted.

Today I learned my lesson . . .

Well, I woke up this morning and my fingers and the palm of my hand felt numb. And occasionally when I pulled something out of a drawer, or picked up a toy off the floor, the sharp shooting pain returned to my forearm. Blasted carpal tunnel! By noon I was cringing when I went to pick up the bag of bread to make the kids' sandwiches. ~Owie~ I had looked high and low for my wrist brace and had no luck finding it. I had to bite the bullet and get a new one.

Eez preetty, no?

I was told a few years back that I am supposed to wear it to bed and when I'm on the computer. But after awhile I got out of the habit and then when we moved I couldn't find it . . . and here I am again. I bumped into my "substitute" doctor at the boo-boo aisle at the store and she gave me a few reprimands and pointers. I'm on light and limited tasks only for the next day or so until it has a chance to rest.

Bummer. :(

 So my plan is to learn something absolutely fascinating tomorrow that I can write about in two paragraphs or less. And hope for marshmallows on Friday.

So aside from learning to behave myself and be good about wearing my brace,

I also learned to make sure ALL of the groceries are put away FOR SURE

BeFoRe letting our house bunny out to play.

Because tonight I came into the kitchen and my bunny had his entire upper body

inside one of my reusable grocery bags. The only thing I could see was

his big ole feet and the tail atop his furry behind.

I thought it was funny until I tapped my foor on the floor twice

(the "come" command) and he exited the bag with a sack of carrots!

THAT LITTLE WASCAL!

So he got a time-out - back into his pen,

and I have to pick up some fresh carrots for my cowboy mashed potatoes tomorrow.

As far as my wrist progress goes...

I'll keep you posted.

Today I learned to make granola bars from scratch

OK, I goofed. My original plan was to learn about homemade marshmallows today. I was doing some last-minute reading up on the process when I spotted the tiny-print tip saying that too much humidity can affect your success in mallow-making. Aw, MaN! My dryer vents into the house right now to keep up the humidity, and it's right off the kitchen, so my marshmallow-making area is in the hot zone. Literally. It feels like a rain forest in there. Since I'd already started the laundry process (and am in dire need of fresh socks) I figured I would just have to delay for a day. But since I promised to learn something tasty from scratch, I came up with a back-up idea:

Today I Learned to Make Homemade Granola Bars

I love granola bars. They are my favorite thing to eat for breakfast.

Unfortunately, my daughter is allergic to peanuts,
a common ingredient in granola bars.

Fortunately, there's a great brand that makes their bars in a peanut-free factory.

Unfortunately, they stopped selling them at my grocery store. *sniffle*

Fortunately I learned today that it's really, really easy to make granola bars
AND they are even tastier than the ones I bought at the store!
(I just love it when things end on a "fortunately" don't you?)

The Ingredients for Homemade Granola Bars

(For a big batch - you can cut the recipe in half for a smaller batch.)

 5 cups quick-rolled oats

1 cup Rice Crispies

1/2 cup shredded coconut

1 cup brown sugar

1 tsp. salt

1 cup softened butter

1/2 cup honey

1 tsp. vanilla

1 cup granola bar "definers"*

*This is the fun part! What type of granola bars are these going to be? Cranberry Raisin? Apple Cinnamon? Chocolate Chip? Raspberry Almond? M&M? Reese's pieces? 

What sort of dried fruit or tasty candy bits or nuts would you use?

One tip I'd offer is to grease your measuring cup before putting the honey in, and grease your spoon before stirring so the honey doesn't stick.
My mom taught me that trick.
(Hi Mom!)

Step #1. Mix ingredients together

Put everything into the bowl and stir. Use your hands if you like, it's more fun.

Just be sure to work the butter before the honey.

Now, you spread into a pan and pat it in evenly. This amount makes enough for both a 9x13 and an 8x8 pan. Bake it at 350F for about 20 minutes,
or until the outside edges start to become browned.

Pull the pans out of the oven and allow them to cool completely

before cutting it into bars.

This allows them to set, so they're not crumbly, so it's important to wait.

I mean, unless you haven't eaten more than a few cheese and crackers at lunch

And your tummy is grumbling at you because it's hungry and there are warm,

mouth-watering granola bars sitting there.

Then it's ok to crumble a few.

I won't tell. ;)

The finished product:

You can store them in an air-tight container with parchment paper in between layers.

And you can use those mini "snack bags" if you need to take one "on the go."

You know, I've never eaten a warm granola bar before, and I have realized quite a lot lately that things are tastier when they are fresh out of the oven, and made from scratch. Scratch cooking is awesome.

I can't wait to try homemade marshmallows tomorrow!

I'll keep you posted!

I've been learning about the losses of adoption and "The Family that Came with the Frame"

Posted March 31/2010

For about the past week I have neglected my postings because I have thrown myself into collecting information for someone else this past week - my little unassuming two-year-old.

Ever since Christmas, I've had this frame hanging on my wall. I went ahead and hung it up for its own protection. It was just a matter of time until one of the kids started using it to surf down sofa cushions or something equally as puzzling and hazardous. It has kind of become part of the scenery. It didn't have pictures in it. Well, it didn't have any of our pictures in it.

There's just the family that came with the frame.

And every time I walked by it, I felt this tugging sadness.

The family looks so happy.

They're playing together at the park.

Little Girl is reading a book and blowing bubbles with Mom,

 and riding on Dad's shoulders.

It looks like the sort of family my adopted daughter could have had.

A protective, attentive father. A nurturing mom. A brother to romp around with.

It breaks my heart because all the pieces are there
- a mother, a father, even a brother.
But her family didn't work. It was fragmented and broken.

The person I know best in The Family that Could Have Been is her brother. We had the great honor of being his foster family before she was born. He is the reason she is our daughter. We took in a two-year-old boy for a short-term placement and ended up fostering and adopting his newborn sister.  People thought we were crazy signing up for an additional two-almost-three-year-old. (Our biological daughter was two-almost-three at the time, too.)  And they thought we'd completely lost it when his sister wound up in foster care and we took her in, too. We thought it was crazier to say no - this was his little sister! No way we'd want to be the ones to split them up if they could be together. But then Big Brother was sent to the East Coast to live in a kinship placement. And little Koda was left behind with us. She was a year old when the court terminated the rights of the other family member we knew best - her birth mother.

In the two years I have known our daughter's first mother, I've thought she was a difficult person to nail down. She loves her kids. She would even die for her kids. If there were an out-of-control bus careening toward her kids, I believe that she would rush to save them. But living for your kids, that's a lot harder demand to fulfill. There's no more sleeping in when baby's awake for the day. You have to drag your sleep-deprived self out of bed and fix her a bottle and change her diaper and get the day started. You have to provide stability with things like a place to live and food to eat and supervise baby while she plays. You have to locate and screen responsible people to look after your baby while you go out and earn the funds to make all those necessary things possible.

There are a lot of young mothers that pull it off. But it is a lot of responsibility and a lot of work and I think the siren call of a life run her own way was just too hard for her to ignore. Why work flipping burgers when you can make easier money other ways? And she was fighting the lure of the wrong kind of friends, the wrong kind of "partying", the wrong kind of guy - that assured her that it was ok for her to do her own thing. I remember once when there was a well-baby appointment she was going to attend. I kept waiting for her to show, and then right before doing the shots she arrived, drenched in sweat. Her boyfriend was going to drive her but he decided that she shouldn't go, so she walked the whole way to the hospital. She told me, trying to catch her breath, that her baby came first. It was one of the times that she really shone as a mom, and I will share that with her daughter some day.

Her birth father is another story. I never met him. I have no stories about any efforts he made to be a dad. The court contacted him with information about her, but it returned unacknowledged. I had only his distinctive name and an address. I watched the movie "The Blind Side" last Saturday. (My mom jokingly forbade us from watching it because she was sure we'd have an uncontrollable urge to adopt twenty more children. :) Anyway, there's a part when the main character was asked if he knew his father and he looked off in the distance and had remarked that he hadn't.

And so after I got done watching the movie I sat down at the computer and decided to do a search. I've been working on a family tree with her great grandma and thought it would be helpful if I had something more than question marks on her birth-paternal branch. I'd looked up his name before and it took me an hour before I found anything. I guess the plus side was that it's not a common name and I didn't have to filter through a lot of information about other people. I used to work at a newspaper and so I wielded my sleuthing skills to find some little blurb about an encounter with the authorities. But that was it. A tiny footnote. So this time, I sat down hoping maybe I'd find something more, that I'd think of some backroad way of finding information. Maybe I'd find out what high school he attended or information that would lead me to a birth certificate if I were lucky. I started with his name and city and was shocked to find immediate results. A few articles popped up right away. The little daughter in question wandered up to me and crawled up on my lap as the link opened.

It was an article on his homicide.

He'd been shot to death during some shady dealings.

I looked at my daughter and burst into tears.
"I'm so sorry, baby."

I had hoped to find something about her father and his story, and the only part I got was "The End." It just seemed so unfair. I spilled tears in her ears for the loss she's too young to understand yet.

I kept digging deeper and finding more information about him. Mostly it was a list of offenses against society. Which are numerous. And alarming enough that I would not have allowed him to be around her if he were alive. I printed all the information I found and put it in a sealed envelope for our little daughter to open someday when she's grown. I'll ease her into his story as she grows up so it's not some shocking revelation. But none of the information told me what his favorite food was. Or whether or not he used to pick bouquets of dandelions for his mom when he was a kid. It's a record of what he did, but not who he was.

In the meantime, I have filled the picture frame with our pictures.

There are pictures from the day she was born, with her mom and brother.

We were behind the camera that day.

There are pictures of her proud biological brother with his arm around her shoulder.

There are pictures of an adoring adopted sister "reading" books to her.

There are pictures of a protective, attentive Daddy

who gives her rides around on his shoulders

and pictures of a mommy who will stop everything

when she asks for a hug.

We may not have been the family she came with,

but we'll do our best to fill her life with lots of good memories.

And capture the moments in photos for her frames.

Being part of an adoptive family is a constant learning process.

I'll keep you posted as I learn more...

Today I learned how to make some soda pop alternatives at home

Hi. My name is Joy. And I'm a soda addict.

Growing up, my parents had three options of beverage at home: Milk, orange juice and water. We occasionally had Kool-Aid, or some Hershey's choclate syrup stirred into our milk. But soda wasn't a regular thing for us as kids. We got it sometimes as a special treat when we went out to eat. My addiction began when I was in high school. I had begun earning my own money babysitting and there were soda machines in the lunch room. I sampled a variety of types and chose my favorite:

It was citrusy and sweet and always my first choice.

The caffeine in it was also handy because I often stayed up late writing.

(A habit which continues to this day... Well, the writing, but not the caffeine.)

My soda habit followed me through college and young adulthood. I think it was at its worst when I worked at the newspaper. I was in an across-the-country long-distance relationship with my hubby (who was my promised fiancé, serving in the U.S. Navy at the time) and the late night, four-hour phone calls left me feeling a pretty groggy in the morning. I drank about a pot of coffee a day, a 16 oz. Mountain Dew mid-morning and another mid-afternoon. I would get terrible headaches on the weekends and didn't figure out why until one weekend I was going somewhere with my sis and grabbed a soda from a gas station. About halfway through drinking it, my headache stopped and the lightbulb went off. I started cutting my caffeine consumption drastically and the weekend headaches went away.

I got married and moved around with my sailor and we finally ended up spending three and a half years in Japan. Living there drastically affected what I ate and drank. The grape "soda" I drank there was made with real grapes. It was just good old carbonated grape juice made from REALLY tasty grapes. And everything there had a subtle sweetness and a lot less sugar.

There was Mountain Dew available for us to buy at the Navy exchange, but why would we drink that when there was delicately sweet Royal Milk Tea that came hot out of the vending machine? Or hot Calpis. Or Pocari Sweat. Ok, the beverages were tasty, but the names could use some work. People thought it was a hoot when I told them I drank hot Calpis. Because with my midwest accent it sort of sounds like I was ingesting very fresh cow pee.  And Pocari Sweat is a type of grapefruit flavored sports drink. With no actual sweat. For goodness sakes, people. ;)

When I moved back to the states someone bought me a 12-pack of my old favorite soda as a Welcome Home present. I cracked open the first one and it was so syrupy sweet I didn't even make it halfway through. I have dabbled in different types of soda since my return to The States, but never found anything that I liked as much as my Japanese favorites. I dabbled with a few cherry colas. I did vote for Mountain Dew Voltage, and could palate the "throwback" version of the soda. By far, my favorite soda beverage upon my return has been Lipton's sparkling green tea. Aside from being similar to the tea beverages in Japan, it was lighter tasting and had the perk of those antioxidants that made it seem more wholesome.

I saw a commercial for it and figured out the reason why I hadn't given up

my quest to find a decent, not icky-sweet soda:

It's all about the bubbles.

But my big problem is that it's too sweet. And really, I've never been a fan of the taste or chemicalness of artificial sweetener. I kept wishing that I could just make my own soda - whatever flavor I preferred without the extra sugary high-fructose corn syrup taste and calories. And now that I have been learning things, I figured it was time to learn if there was a way to make my own soda.

I learned there is a process that uses yeast to "brew" soda and create the bubbles.

Here is a fun instructional video on brewing soda:

Loving the 'stache. :)

While this was cool and informative, it still seemed heavy on the sugar.
And it takes a long time to make it.

So I decided to look up an easier recipe and found one for "almost Coke" soda.

2 Tbs. sugar

1 tsp. vanilla

1/4 t cinnamon

1 tsp. lime juice

1 cup club soda

I made some substitutes - agave for sugar and seltzer for club soda.

I substituted the agave because it has a lower glycemic index than sugar

and won't leave you with that crazy sugar-buzzed feeling.

It also mixes better in fluids and has a lighter flavor.

 It's like a thinner, plant-based version of honey without the honey taste. 

I swapped out the club soda because it has added sodium,

and seltzer is just carbonated water.

Basically, you just mix the ingredients and pour in the bubble water.

I licked off the spoon I used to mix the ingredients and it tasted

(surprisingly) very similar to cola.

Now, just add bubbles.
I'll just unscrew the lid to the carbonated water . . .

AAAAAAH!

Oops. Didn't plan on that bonus lesson.

Make sure to set apart the bottle of seltzer water that you dropped on the floor.

*soggy sheepish smile*

So, after a quick mop-up on aisle four, I poured the bubbles into the cup.

Whoa. That's got some froth to it . . .

I wonder if it's because the seltzer had been shaken,

or if agave reacts that way to carbonation.

After the fizzles settled, I gave it a sip.

The verdict:

While the initital syrup was quite promising, when I mixed in the carbonated water

and took a sample sip, it reminded me of apple cider.

Not in flavor, but in the cinnamon grit that attached itself to my teeth.

It didn't taste bad, and actually had an interesting flavor.

It just wasn't cola.

Next I tried another type of kid-favorite soda

flavored with a familiar old staple:

It passed the taste test.

Basically, you follow the recipe for Kool-Aid, but you substitute agave for sugar and seltzer water for plain. Agave is sweeter than sugar so you can use less of it. I poured a pack of Kool-Aid, agave and about half a cup of water into the bottom of an empty selzer bottle, swirled and swished it around until it was all mixed together. Then I poured in the carbonated water. And you don't need to use Kool-Aid. You can use whatever flavor extract you like - root beer for instance. I just used Kool-Aid because it has added Vitamin C and it only cost me about ten cents per packet. And our littlest child is really, really sugar sensitive and has a family history of Diabetes so this is an alternative that she can enjoy, too. 

So far my favorite soda alternative uses the following ingredients:

I just mix the ingredients to taste.

It's like a fizzy raspberry lemonade.

The carbonated version of this recipe for cream soda is really good, too.

Tomorrow I'll be making marshmallows from scratch!

I'll keep you posted.

About the Author

Post in progress

Today I learned I was singing the wrong word - and how to prep an artichoke.

Hi there, readers. :) How's it going?

Things here are good, despite the lack of sleep and general wonkiness that accompanies sleep deprivation. I have that song stuck in my head:

Running onnnn...Running on empty

Running onnnn...Running drrrrrrrry

Running on, Running into the sun

But I'm running behind. . .

This one always pops into my head when I have no energy. Funny thing is that I just looked up the lyrics and found out I was singing it wrong all these years. It's not running "dry" - It's running "blind." Oh. Alright. I guess that makes sense, too. You ever have a song that you were singing with the wrong lyrics? Well, that's just one of the little things I learned today.

Remember this fellow?

I bought him a little while back during my lesson on unfamiliar produce.

One by one, I tackled the strange produce.

For starters, one thing I learned about the weird produce I bought

is that there aren't a lot of recipes that call for

one parsnip or one turnip or one artichoke.

The rutabaga and celery root were sizeable, and so

I had less obstacles figuring out what to do with them.

I chopped up the celery root and boiled it with my mashed potatoes. Aside from adding extra nutrients and visual interest in the potatoes it improved the flavor, too. I put it on my grocery list for my most recent trip to the store, and was so disappointed
when they didn't have any more. Awww, man!

Isn't that just how it goes?

Ah, well. I'll just keep watching for it.

One thing I learned about the rutabaga is that it is HARD to cut. I had bought the largest one I could find, and got my knife stuck in it a few times. Perhaps my mad ninja skills have gone rusty. At any rate, I bought smaller rutabagas at the store last night.
Lesson learned.

I diced the rutabaga up and oven-roasted it with olive oil, garlic salt and parsley.

And I diced and added in that lone parsnip:

Which smelled very much like a carrot when I peeled it, by the way.

It was a huge hit. Both of the kids loved it and Super Hubby had a look of surprise

when he tasted those roasted outcasts and said, "Wow! That's actually good!"

While the inner wanna-be chef in me cringed a little at the "actually" part -

I knew what he meant.  I mean, just look at them.

I think it's time to boost the Produce Section Roots' self-esteem.

Because under those bland exteriors, they are just so mild and sweet.
I mean, at least "wall flowers" are pretty.

These poor things get a bad rap because they're badly wrapped.

And usually hiding in dirt. ;)

I picked up some more turnips at the store to go with the one that I bought.

They are pretty easy to prepare. And since rutabagas are in the turnip family,

I feel a little experienced in handling them.

And that left the artichoke.

I think he's the most intimidating fellow I picked up.

Especially when you consider that he used to be part of a thistle.

I hate letting food waste away in the fridge,

 but I do it more often then I'd prefer to admit.

The one I bought went all wilty in the drawer and so I decided

to share him with the outdoor bunnies in my yard.

 

I bought new ones last night and decided that I would learn how to prepare them
from a nice fellow on YouTube:

 

What a great accent.
He also has a helpful video about choosing artichokes.

I'm making dip with my artichokes, and so we'll see how it turns out...

I am still trying to behave so my wrist has a chance to recover. Between the joint pain of my early onset arthritis and my carpal tunnel tingles at night, the quality of my sleep lately has been somewhat lacking. I'm still searching for my wrist brace and I'll probably have to cave and go to the doctor if it doesn't start improving soon. It's a good thing I have a lot of how-to lessons planned this week because I'll be able to let the pictures speak for themselves. In the meantime...

I'll keep you posted.

Today I learned to Tiptoe through the Tulips...

Here I am up late on Friday night/Saturday morning. Actually, it's late enough to be early.

The main thing I learned today is that I am starting to have problems with my wrist again and so I'm going to have to find my brace before I get back
in the full swing of writing for my blog.

But not to disappoint my dear readers, I have learned a bit
about a few comic performers...

My favorite type of comedy is good, old-fashioned, clean, goofy, silly humor.
I had heard of these performers before but had never seen
any of their performances or knew much about them.

Tiny Tim

Here's a video in case you are unfamiliar:

Here's an article on his biographical site.

The Blue Man Group


Article about Blue Man Group

LoL! Ok, so they both embody my silly sense of humor.

I can't reach quite Tiny Tim's range of falsetto, but I have been known to sing in
a chipmunk voice around the house from time to time.

And just like that last Blue Man,
I've been known to do things the complicated way before.

I'll post my weekend lessons on Sunday night
and once I find my wrist brace,
I'll keep you posted.