Today I Learned How to Fold a Fitted Sheet

With this winter as bad as it is, I’ve had a couple of fun learning ideas that I’ve had to scrap because the weather messed up the roads or closed places I’d planned to go. (Grumble-grumble-snow-grumble.)

When it gets nicer out, I’d like to have more “field trips” like my outing to the flower shop. I’m dreaming about all the fun things I can learn when it’s warm, like canoeing or building things. And in the meantime, I sit and try to think of things to learn indoors at home. My husband, who is a full-time college student, tried to convince me tonight to learn about his homework. “Hey! You should look up everything there is to know about Teledesic satellites!” He was dashing out the door wearing a tuxedo at the time. I felt a bit like Miss Moneypenny stuck at the office while Bond, James Bond goes off to his next adventure. And just like Moneypenny, how could I say no to a handsome fellow in a tuxedo?

So, I whipped up some Google-Fu and took a gander at this Teledesic satellite system that, much like some of my previous posts, was an example of what not to do. But as I read it I realized it would make for a very dry blog that would probably read something like:

They came up with an idea to blanket the sky with satellites . . . everyone could be connected to everyone else . . . blah-blah-blah . . . really ambitious and costly . . . yadda-yadda-yadda . . . failed . . . techno-babble . . . and now people in the middle of the desert are sad because they can’t have the all-important life-skill of knowing how to Google things.

So after I looked up enough information to familiarize myself with the subject so I could help with the inevitable proofing that would come with this homework assignment, I looked up the real subject of my blog tonight:

-HOW TO FOLD A FITTED SHEET-

I have this theory that fitted sheets were originally invented as a prank to perplex people. Some person got a good chuckle filing those plans at the patent office. How many times have you been trying to fix the bed by yourself and just as you pull the corner up, the one across the way comes undone. We’ve all been there. At least until some clever person invented these.

Of course, I don’t need those because I’ve got my own personal Bond to help straighten those corners into submission. And yes, I admit to going a little more quickly so he’ll get stuck with the last corner. But he was in the military and one of the handy skills he learned in boot camp was how to make a bed. So I don’t feel bad. Except that a military-made bed requires a crowbar to break in. I think I’ll have to make him teach me how to do that. It could come in handy when I’m tucking the kids in…

Anyway, not only are they difficult to put on the bed, they're difficult to tame off the bed, as well. I'll use a fitted crib sheet to demonstrate. This is how my fitted sheets usually look when I pull them out of storage:

And actually, this might be a wee tidier than the typical wadded ball off cotton covers you'd find here. Funny - It looks to me like a penguin on its tummy sliding on a piece of ice. And no, I did not see Jesus on my homemade waffles yesterday morning, although they were heavenly.

You are going to be using your wingspan to your advantage, and so you want to make sure your sheet is horizontal like this, before you start. Shake it around to knock off any dryer fuzz and then fluff it up to loosen the wrinkles. These wrinkles are already set because of the previous couple of weeks they've been wadded into their penguin-shape.

The corners are going to become your ally.

Locate the point of the corner.

Now, poke your hand into the corner, with your finger in the very tip.

Now, nestle that corner into the one above it and repeat the process with the other side.

Now, stretch the sheet out with fingers pointed into the corners, like this:

Shake a bit and it will fall into the first fold.

This helps smooth out the edges and create corners for tidy folding.

Now, rest it on the bed like this:

Fold in the sides and tidy up the edges so they are straight.

Now, just start folding...

...until you have something that looks like this:

Ok, so I have to say this made me feel a little giddy.

I never thought a fitted sheet could look so tidy and orderly.

Something so simple, and yet I feel so accomplished. :)

Tomorrow I am going to learn how to make cheese!

That should be interesting, so . . . I'll keep you posted.